What to say in a time of grief…
Most often people are at a loss for words when wanting to express their love and comfort to someone who’s grieving. We want to say the “right words” yet fall short and completely bypass it all together. The thing is…the “right words” do not exist. There is no script, dialogue, or checklist to provide someone who’s drowning in grief.
I am writing this blog to provide information for those who want to support those around them who are grieving. Knowledge is power and the more we know, the better we become at holding space for grievers.
Helpful statements to support a griever…
“I’m here for you”
“I may not know what to say, but I can listen”
“The emotions you’re feeling are valid and it’s ok to take things one day at a time”
“I’m sorry you had to experience this”
“There is no right or wrong way to grieve”
“You are allowed to feel and be as you are. I’m here for you”
“I can’t possibly understand how you feel, but I’m here”
“It’s ok to not be ok”
“You can talk to me about “xyz” whenever you want no matter how long it’s been”
“I’m thinking of you and sending you love during this difficult time”
“What is your favorite memory of them?”
“What were they like?”
“I’m so sorry your person died, it’s unfair”
There are several other ways to support someone who’s grieving, these are a few to keep in mind when you may not know what to say. Remember to stay away from judgments about the deceased person and/or their behavior, acknowledge the person’s loss, avoid telling someone what they should do or how they should feel, focus on offering practical ways you can help, and never place time limits on their grief.